May 31, 2020

Wow. It's the last day of May. I can't believe how quickly the weeks have passed during this Corona virus shut down.

Our new home loan closed on Friday so that's done. Whew.

Monday we're having a heat treatment done on our house to kill the termites. The effort involved to prep for the the heat treatment is different than the typical tenting treatment, but it's just as much work. Instead of removing food and things like that, we have to remove things that could be damaged by 150 degree heat. So I've been packing up candles, photo albums, medicine, aerosol cans, plants, anything that melts. We were instructed to remove our vinyl blinds in the bedrooms. Now John is very concerned that someone is going to walk into our backyard, see his office/comic book room through the open window, and break in and steal everything. This would be while we're home today, because tomorrow the house will be covered. He's pretty sure I've mishandled things and that we're at some horrible risk. Meanwhile I've been packing up all the stuff they instructed me to remove, and John looks through the boxes and starts taking out the things I've packed. Later today and tomorrow morning I'll move all the boxes I've packed with too many heavy things, and keep them in the yard until the heat process is complete. Fortunately it only takes one day, but I'll be hauling a lot of crap out of the house, then back in. Ugh. All the commotion makes John very nervous, and therefore very crabby. He doesn't understand what's happening and that's upsetting to him. He accuses me of confusing everything, so I again explain what's happening, then he announces that it would have helped if I'd told him that earlier. After a little while the process repeats.

On another note, on Friday John played a trivia game on Zoom with the people from Easter Seals. He has trouble figuring out the answers and the few other people who are playing the game always beat him to it. So the Easter Seals staff will say "this question is for John" to give him a chance. Even then he usually can't answer the question. I even try to whisper the answers to him but that doesn't help! I thought Friday's trivia game was kinda rough, but afterward John proudly said "My brain is working better, in case you haven't noticed." I just agreed.

A few months ago we had our most recent appointment with John's neurologist. We see him every 6 months. The Dr started John on Memantine, which is supposed to help dementia patients with behavior issues. 3 months have passed, so now it's time to start John on Donepezil. That should help with cognizance. John has been on Donepezil before, but it led to increased agitation so we stopped that medication. Hopefully the Memantine will help him with the agitation so he can experience the cognitive boost he should receive from Donepezil. Neither drug impacts the progression of the disease, but both are intended to help with the symptoms.

May 25, 2020

Today is Memorial Day. A rather somber day that's worthy of celebration. We got together with John's family yesterday. It was a spread out, outdoor gathering in our Covid19 environment. It was particularly good to see everyone. So far today John and I have taken a walk and showered - always a frustrating part of each day. He's frustrated that he's not sure what to do next, and I'm frustrated that I have to keep telling him. It's not pretty. Our refi home loan docs were finalized on Friday, fortunately without a doctor's note regarding John's competence. I completed signing at 10:15 at night. It's a relief to have that done. Now we're on to overdue termite treatments. It's necessary, but spending the money is so unrewarding! After that, we'll need to address painting the house. John is typically agitated first thing in the morning. He wakes up before me and badgers me about what he should be doing, wondering who is in the house, if we're all accounted for, and wondering how many dogs we have and where they are. He usually talks about how tired he is, which I think is his way of saying he's confused and it's exhausting trying to figure out the world around him. He's happiest when he's busy and other people are around. Of course that's been difficult with everything that is shut down, but things are beginning to open up so hopefully those improvements will make him feel better. He putters around differently on each floor of our split level house. Downstairs is his office. Everyday he unloads books from the bookshelves and spreads them around the room and the house. He pulls out comic books and moves the stacks around. He has a whole bunch of reading magnifying pairs of glasses. He spreads them out too. On the middle floor is our kitchen. He's always in there with the pantry or frig doors wide open, looking for something to catch his eye. He often says he's hungry, despite eating just a short time before. It's not unusual to hear the frig door beeping because he's left the door slightly ajar. Upstairs, in our room, he unloads his top dresser drawer that is filled with a bunch of random stuff. He spreads it out on the dresser trying to see what all he has in the drawer. After all this, I sneak around putting everything back in it's place, all prepped from him to investigate and spread around again.

May 20, 2020

The hospice nurse tells me that my mom isn't eating her meals well anymore. The staff in her memory care place she's eating less of her meals than before.  It's been an ongoing problem, but apparently it has worsened.  Mind you, she still happily eats cookies. It's the balanced meals that are an issue! They are giving her chocolate Ensure because that's her favorite, so at least she gets some nutrients. Other than that, the nurse says mom is doing fine.

Meanwhile John.... We've been in the process of refinancing our home loan to get a lower interest rate. Of course the process is a pain in the ass, and I've been providing the needed documentation on and off for weeks. Yesterday was the day we were to sign all the papers and get the process completed. In advance of the meeting I had John practice his signature over and over again for a couple days. John P. Law. And JPL in case we had to initial portions. I was nervous but hopeful he could pull it off. Well I was wrong. He needed to sign his full name, John Patrick Law. He practiced a few times and couldn't manage the signature. He got stuck on Patrick, writing the Pa in cursive and printing the rest in capital letters. He wasn't able to consistently sign his name, and 30+ signatures weren't going to happen. The escrow rep reviewed our power of attorney and it's sufficient for me to act on his behalf for property transactions. So that's an option. I may need a note from a doctor stating that John is unable to sign his name. Another option is to see if I can qualify for the loan alone because that might be easier. It all depends on what the lender will accept. And of course all the paperwork will need to be redone - hopefully before the next loan payment is due because then the money details change slightly. So our issue is being escalated through the management of the loan company, the escrow company, and the lender. Hopefully we won't have to start over completely.

We're also planning to get some termite work done on the house. It's been neglected for a long time so the termites have been busy munching away. Once that's done we'll need to paint. I figure we need to get that done before our neighbors revolt! And my car is in the shop. And we need a new computer. All stuff John used to take care of. So there's plenty to keep me busy while I'm not working during the Covid19 shutdown. But it's all boring! And expensive.

May 6, 2020

I got a call this afternoon from Mom's memory care floor director. She said that one worker in the building (the building is home to both memory care and assisted living) has tested positive for the corona virus. The worker does not work on the memory care floor, and the worker is does not directly care for residents. I'm guessing that leaves maintenance, housekeeping and food service. Regardless, it's a serious concern. The director said they are trying to increase precautions, but I'm not sure how much more they can do.

My mom once said that if she ever got the "Big A", as she called Alzheimer's, and when she caught pneumonia, she didn't want any antibiotics. I understand that she knew any exit strategy is better than slowly dying of Alzheimer's Disease. So if it ends up being the corona virus, so be it. But I'm worried about protocols with the virus that mean family can't visit. I would be horrified if I couldn't spend time with her if she was sick and dying.

Meanwhile John cut his finger today. It's a small cut, but it bled. He was very concerned and thought I should call the doctor right away. Because he thinks the cut could mean he has the virus. It made him depressed. I think all the hand washing routines and now an open cut confuses him. I assured him that wasn't the case, and that pacified him for a couple minutes, but he very quickly forgot what I said and asked again about going to see a doctor.

May 5, 2020

John and I went to visit my mom yesterday - through the window. I don't know why it hadn't occurred to me, but Maria, our favorite care worker at my mom's place, suggested it. I assumed that since she's on the 2nd floor, the window visit wouldn't work so I had previously dismissed the idea. Marie said she could have Mom ready and then bring her downstairs when we arrived. So that's what we did. John and I showed up at the appointed time with donut holes for my mom, and donuts for the staff. Maria brought her downstairs to the lobby area and then called me. We spoke on the phone while looking through the window. It was nice, but I'm not sure Mom really got it. Typically she was looking over my shoulder off into the distance. Then I'd remind her to look at me and she did. She definitely needs me to come trim her stray whiskers! But she looked good. She liked sitting in the warm sun. I don't think that kind of visit is significantly different to her than face-timing, except she can see me better. It's certainly more time consuming for the staff. We chatted for a few minutes then it was time for Maria to get back to the rest of the residents and get dinner underway. I'm glad we did it, but I'm not sure how often I'll try to set that up.

Tomorrow we're going to participate in a Zoom meeting/class with Easter Seals. It'll be a music class and hopefully John will feel a little like he's part of that program again. He has missed it. The staff member had to drive by our house to pick up the Ipad they sent us previously, then returned with it later in the day. I assume they loaded Zoom onto the Ipad, but I'm not sure if that's all they did. And I'm not sure how many people they did this with. Their goal is to continue learning remotely, kinda like the schools are doing.

We went to San Clemente tonight to see the bioluminescent waves. They are absolutely beautiful. They're caused by a type of plankton that make the waves look like they have an electric blue glow. Pictures don't do them justice. John said "That was really cool" - so it was well worth the trip.

May 2, 2020

Early this morning John was up wandering around the house. It was still dark and I was sleeping, but I was vaguely aware he left the room. I noticed he came back to bed when it was beginning to get light outside. I'm not sure how much time passed, probably not too much. He kept talking about needing to check the doors to make sure they were locked. I was still in a sleep fog and was annoyed he was talking while I was trying to sleep. He mentioned the doors too many times so I finally realized we might have a problem. I crawled out of bed and went downstairs. Sure enough, the front door was left slightly open. I shut the door and locked it after looking outside for any signs of what he might have been up to. Everything inside and out looked normal, and as I left it the night before, so he couldn't have been up too long. Still, I'm worried that he might walk out the door sometime and get lost. I can track him if he takes his phone with him, but if he doesn't I'll be at a loss.

After that bit of a rocky start this morning I wondered how the rest of the day might go. So far I've stopped him from watering the plants and grass outside 3 times. Our gardeners are coming later and I don't want them mowing a muddy lawn. He wants to help and watering outside is great, but he's doing it so often lately that some of the plants are drowning.

However, John made his own breakfast this morning (his favorite hot pockets) which was convenient for me. I usually need to do that for him.  And he showered on his own. There's no telling if he washed his hair at all, or maybe washed it 3 times, but that's OK since it's not a daily thing. He used the downstairs shower which is the one he used to use. I've stopped that because the shower handles are stripped and it's difficult to adjust the temperature of the water. Apparently he managed though. There wasn't a bath towel in that bathroom but he made due with a hand towel! It was really nice to not have our daily shower battle though.

Mom seems to be doing ok. I haven't seen her since mid-March so that's been difficult. When we face time she looks fairly good and is talkative when she's not tired. That's about half the time.

Jordan has fostered 2 dogs during this corona season. The additional dogs confuse John a bit but he likes them and always wants to keep them. He has trouble keeping track of the names of our dogs as it is.