June 9, 2024

I returned from a trip to Spain last week, and went to see John the next day. He was eating dinner and I joined him at the table, but he didn't seem aware that I was there. He had that blank look on his face and he continued to eat. I got in his face so he would be able to see me (his peripheral vision is poor - which is typical for people living with Alzheimer's - the brain narrows the field of vision so it can process what it sees). He didn't seem to recognize me in that moment, or at least there was no indication that he was aware he hadn't seen me for a week. We simply picked up where we left off as though I'd never been away. He doesn't speak much anymore. Sometimes he won't speak at all while I'm there, but other times he'll say a few things. The other day we were walking outside in the gardens and John asked me 'Have you grown up?' I said 'Yes. Have you?' He answered 'No.' I wonder what he was thinking in that moment, and who he thought I was. Another thing I noticed, as we walked he stopped to touch the plants a few times, patting them, and he also touched the wall. He patted the plants like he was about to tend to them. He's still taking off his shoes and socks, and lying down on the floor now and then. He feeds himself, but sometimes seems to lose interest and starts to walk away. When I'm there I yank him back down into his chair and get him focused on his meal again. I can get him to finish his meal most of the time so that's good. Sometimes when I arrive there will be a staff member at the table with him, helping him eat. But that doesn't always happen and I wonder how well he eats if there is no one sitting with him.