September 9, 2024

A couple weeks ago the staff told me that John asked 'Where's Susan?' Tonight John asked me 'Do I know you?' I simply replied 'Yes, I'm Susan'.

September 8, 2024

6 years ago this past week my dad rather suddenly passed away in Colorado. He'd been taking care of my mom who was fading away with Alzheimer's. He had COPD and had reached the point where he could no longer take care of mom. He believed he needed respite care to recover from his exhaustion. He called his Dr requesting that he be hospitalized for a few days so that Medicare would cover his respite needs. His Dr told him to immediately call 911. He quickly started to make arrangements for my mom to be placed in memory care. I'd visited my parents a couple weeks earlier, but he had refused to tour the place he was interested in, so he'd never seen the inside of it. He was too tired to walk through the place. My parents had some in home care so when Dad found out that mom couldn't be placed for a couple days, the owner of the home care agency made arrangements for his own wife and a couple of our parents friends to provide care for my mom while arrangements were made for memory care. That's a small town for you. By the time I arrived in Colorado my mom was placed in memory care and my dad was in the hospital, by now having had a couple strokes. He died a couple days later. We quickly planned a funeral for Dad, closed up their house, then tossed Mom in the back seat of our car and drove her to California and moved her into memory care. I hadn't had the opportunity to tour the place, but Danielle checked it out and moved furniture there so Mom's room was ready when we drove into town. John was well into his dementia journey at this point, but was still able to stay home alone while I was at work. He and I started visiting Mom most days, and did so for a year and a half, until the pandemic began. 6 months later Mom died of Covid. We were not allowed to see her that entire 6 months. I'm very resentful about that, thanks to Mr. Newsom. For me, our dementia journey greatly intensified when my Dad died 6 years ago. Prior to that time my Dad and I spoke on the phone most weekday mornings while I drove to work. We compared notes on our spouse's dementia journeys. Mom was ahead of John on that path. Then suddenly I had responsibility for her as well as John. Around the time she died, John was no longer able to be home alone, and started day care. 4 years later I placed him in memory care. And now I'm back to almost daily trips to memory care. It's been a difficult road these past 6 years. There have been a lot of losses. I have to say, I'm fucking sick of dementia.