April 25, 2020

Not much has changed during these weeks of sheltering in place. I thought I'd include some more quotes from John:

"I'm not competent. It's the way I feel all the time now."

"I don't understand what's going on."

"I need the stick we eat with."

"Somethings going to kill me. I'm afraid I'm going to disappear because I don't understand what's happening."

"I have no idea what you're doing. I don't know if you're doing things correctly. I don't know if I'm doing things correctly. I feel like I'm going to disappear off the map."

He worries a lot about what has germs and when he needs to wash his hands. Then he washes his hands, dries them slightly, and thinks is damp hands are sticky and need to be washed again.

He continues to try squeegee the shower when the water is still running and he's not done showering. Then he gets annoyed when I ask him to finish washing first and squeegee when the water is off.

Easter Seals sent John an Ipad so I've been trying to help him play some games on it. We've been playing Memory with 12 cards. He finds it quite difficult. He doesn't seem to understand which cards have been overturned and which ones haven't. Today he played one round then announced he was tired and was taking a break.

He says he's tired many times each day.
Especially when he's trying to say something but he can't find the right words. I'm not sure if he's really tired, or bored, or frustrated. Maybe all 3. He gets quite a lot of sleep but then I assume his brain is working hard to try understand things, and that's probably exhausting.

Yesterday he went out to pick up our mail. He does this each day, and seems to like it. Our mailboxes have locks on them because our mail was stolen a few years ago. Yesterday John tried to get into our neighbor's mail box instead of ours. He called me from his phone because he was having trouble. I saw he was trying to get into our neighbor's box instead of ours. He managed to get our neighbor's box open, but it remained in the locked position and I couldn't get it closed, and our key wouldn't work. I called our neighbor so she could come lock it with her key. Later I noticed her box doesn't fully close now. I think the locking lever was pulled out of alignment a bit, so the mail box door leans open a little. Hopefully that can be easily fixed - or I'll have to buy them a new box.

Meanwhile I haven't seen my mom in 6 weeks. We Face Time a couple times a week though. And I make sure she's stocked in cookies. She seems fine. Maria watches out for her. I read that once the virus slows and we begin to get our lives back to normal, there are 3 phases to reopening society. Visiting nursing homes was mentioned in phase 3. That means it could be a very long time before I see her again. I worry that she might not remember me by the time I can visit again.

Our daughter Jordan has been tested for the Corona virus. She's considered an essential worker because she works at Petco once per week (only once per week because she's busy with law school.) So if she has it, we think she got it there. She's been really tired this week, had headaches, a sore throat and a mild cough. No trouble breathing. No fever. So if she has it, she has a mild case. She won't get the results for a few more days. And we'll have to see if we get it too. So we're being vigilante, but we could have been infected already. Only time will tell.

April 7, 2020

Here's a few odd things that have happened in the past few days that give a flavor of life these days:

John was soaking in the bath tub while I was in the shower. (The tub and shower are next to each other, they're not together by the way.) Yes, I know, TMI. When I saw him wash his hair for the 3rd time I yelled "Don't wash your hair again, you've already washed it!"  He responded "It's because I don't know what you're doing!"  Hmm... Somehow things like this sorta become my fault.

John was downstairs and came upstairs to join me. I asked him if he would go back downstairs and turn off the fan in the bathroom. He's almost always happy to help, so off he went downstairs. Well, it took 4 times (and 4 trips downstairs) until he actually turned off the fan. Probably because on the 4th time I waited until he was downstairs then hollered a reminder to him.

For reference, this Sunday is Easter. Last night we were watching a show on TV that took place at Christmas. Later, when we went to bed, John asked me what I wanted for Christmas.

April 2, 2020

We just received official notification from my school district that school sites will be closed until the end of the school year. On-line learning continues throughout. The other day the CA governor announced his recommendation that that occur so the announcement from our district was anticipated. Still, that's 2 more months. Actually 2 months and 2 weeks for our district. So far we're being paid to sit home and do nothing. However, if we get furloughed, unemployment would actually be a pay increase for me because the federal government is giving an additional $600 per week on top of the typical unemployment check. Oh well. I'm in a very fortunate position.

The next question is whether summer school will happen. I always work during the summer so I'm hoping it does. Otherwise I'm looking at 5 months of no work. That's lots of boredom.

Meanwhile, John and I are attempting to keep ourselves occupied while we stay at home. I'm catching up on previously avoided tasks, walking our dogs, and cleaning things our here and there. We've started watching far more TV than usual. I hate how mind numbing that is. And we read. The other day we were sitting on the couch reading. I glanced over at John with his stack of books. He was reading the table of contents. I've noticed that a couple times now.

Each day John asks me continually "What are we going to do today?" And I continually respond "Nothing! There's a virus..." OMG he just walked in the room and asked me again! He's wondering if we're going to visit my mom today. And he wants to go to Costco. "No we can't. There's a virus." Then, "Oh that's right, I forgot."

One other thing - John seems to be unable to keep track of who is in the house. He's not sure if Jordan is here, but she's usually in her room in an on-line class, or studying. And he's not sure if Ben is in his room, or at work; but he's in Texas. Meanwhile Jordan is fostering a dog for a few weeks (hopefully!) and John is very unsure of how many dogs are in the house, and which dog is which.

John and I continue our war of neuroses. You'd think I'd learn, but I don't. He continues to spread books and magazines around the house - like spreading about 15 on the coffee table, and others strewn about the room,  and I neurotically scoop them up and return them to the book shelves. He's driven to see what things he has, and I'm driven to create order in the midst of our chaos.
Again, you'd think I'd learn.

Staff at my mom's place call to facetime with my mom a few times per week. It's really good to see her and talk to her a bit, although she's generally not very interested in phone calls. Yesterday, after Maria told my mom that she loved her, my mom replied "Oh that's good but you're not this cookie." So we know just where she stands! Cookies first, people second!