Not much has changed during these weeks of sheltering in place. I thought I'd include some more quotes from John:
"I'm not competent. It's the way I feel all the time now."
"I don't understand what's going on."
"I need the stick we eat with."
"Somethings going to kill me. I'm afraid I'm going to disappear because I don't understand what's happening."
"I have no idea what you're doing. I don't know if you're doing things correctly. I don't know if I'm doing things correctly. I feel like I'm going to disappear off the map."
He worries a lot about what has germs and when he needs to wash his hands. Then he washes his hands, dries them slightly, and thinks is damp hands are sticky and need to be washed again.
He continues to try squeegee the shower when the water is still running and he's not done showering. Then he gets annoyed when I ask him to finish washing first and squeegee when the water is off.
Easter Seals sent John an Ipad so I've been trying to help him play some games on it. We've been playing Memory with 12 cards. He finds it quite difficult. He doesn't seem to understand which cards have been overturned and which ones haven't. Today he played one round then announced he was tired and was taking a break.
He says he's tired many times each day.
Especially when he's trying to say something but he can't find the right words. I'm not sure if he's really tired, or bored, or frustrated. Maybe all 3. He gets quite a lot of sleep but then I assume his brain is working hard to try understand things, and that's probably exhausting.
Yesterday he went out to pick up our mail. He does this each day, and seems to like it. Our mailboxes have locks on them because our mail was stolen a few years ago. Yesterday John tried to get into our neighbor's mail box instead of ours. He called me from his phone because he was having trouble. I saw he was trying to get into our neighbor's box instead of ours. He managed to get our neighbor's box open, but it remained in the locked position and I couldn't get it closed, and our key wouldn't work. I called our neighbor so she could come lock it with her key. Later I noticed her box doesn't fully close now. I think the locking lever was pulled out of alignment a bit, so the mail box door leans open a little. Hopefully that can be easily fixed - or I'll have to buy them a new box.
Meanwhile I haven't seen my mom in 6 weeks. We Face Time a couple times a week though. And I make sure she's stocked in cookies. She seems fine. Maria watches out for her. I read that once the virus slows and we begin to get our lives back to normal, there are 3 phases to reopening society. Visiting nursing homes was mentioned in phase 3. That means it could be a very long time before I see her again. I worry that she might not remember me by the time I can visit again.
Our daughter Jordan has been tested for the Corona virus. She's considered an essential worker because she works at Petco once per week (only once per week because she's busy with law school.) So if she has it, we think she got it there. She's been really tired this week, had headaches, a sore throat and a mild cough. No trouble breathing. No fever. So if she has it, she has a mild case. She won't get the results for a few more days. And we'll have to see if we get it too. So we're being vigilante, but we could have been infected already. Only time will tell.
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