September 24, 2022

Recently John told me he wanted to call his mom and dad. I responded that they were in Heaven. I said my parents are in Heaven too, and I wondered if they spoke to each other about us. He asked when that happened, when his parents died, and I told him. He got quite angry that no one told him his parents died. I explained that it had been a while, but that he was at the hospital when each of his parents passed. I told him I knew his parents were proud of him and happy that he was nearby when they passed. The other day he was ranting and raving about how little was explained to him, and that I wasn't helping him. He was pretty angry and stomped around the house griping that I wasn't looking out for him, and that I didn't understand or listen to him. I asked him how I could help him, and in response he yelled "Get a boyfriend!" That was odd! Lately I've noticed that he's started putting on one of his socks upside down. Once he showed it to me and said something was wrong. I fixed his sock and then he put his shoes on. Sometimes he's able to tie them, but I need to retie them so they're tied tightly, and I knot them so they stay tied. Edna at EasterSeals mentioned that John is losing his peripheral vision. I remember when that happened to my mom. Essentially the brain can't process all the information that the eyes see, so it narrows the field of vision so it can handle the input. The brain narrows the field of vision to what it sees directly in front of it. I hadn't noticed this myself, so I'll be watching for it. Edna said she noticed it while he was eating. He couldn't see his glass unless it was right in front of him. I was talking to my aunt earlier today. She's my mother's sister and always says things that resonate with me. She often listens to what I say, then summarizes it with insight I hadn't noticed on my own. Anyway, today she told me about a friend of hers whose husband had Alzheimers some years ago. In one of his more lucid moments, her friend asked her husband what it was like to have Alzheimer's Disease. He said it was like wind blowing through his mind. That really struck me. It seems true on multiple levels. Later today I was talking with another family member - I told him I really appreciate his honesty and candor about John. He observes what's happening and doesn't attempt to sugar coat it. I'm comforted by the attention he shows John, and he's honest about what he observes. I know John is truly seen by him, and it makes the journey a little bit lighter to be understood.