March 21, 2021

John is becoming increasingly more frustrated and agitated. Recently he couldn't sleep because he was agitated for a couple hours, right after going to bed. He was concerned that someone could access his phone (which we've limited so there's not much that could be done with it.) He also said he was concerned he would lose all his money. Or that something bad would happen. He kept getting out of bed and stomping around the room. Finally, after a couple hours, he fell asleep. By then I was wired so I was awake even longer! He complains a lot about not having a car and not being able to drive. He says he's going to Costco to buy a car. He also wants to go to Costco to ask him about his computer. He thinks his computer isn't working (it is) and that a working computer is what keeps him from practicing law again. Last week he was griping about people saying he has Alzheimer's. Typically I can divert him from that conversation, but this time he was getting mad. So I confirmed that he has Alzheimer's. He wanted to know who said so - so I said it was a Dr., a neurologist. I told him he had an MRI that confirmed it. We talked about what the MRI showed, and I explained a little bit about the plaques that accumulate. He didn't believe that he has AD, so I pulled out the report and showed him. He thinks he's doing better so the diagnosis must be wrong. Then he starts talking about how he'll be dead soon. That's a fairly commom thing he says when he's frustrated. He sometimes says I'm killing him - that's usually in the morning when I'm trying to get him to rinse the shampoo out of his hair, or shave him. He's very sensitive to any kind of pain. The slightest bump and he yells "Ow! That hurts!" He worries a lot about germs. He thinks he needs to wash his hands after touching his shoe laces (I think he can't tie them tightly any more so they often become untied.) Or he thinks our kitchen counter might have germs on it, so he doesn't want his silverware to touch it. He's fascinated by the moon. He doesn't seem to care as much about stars, but he likes to go outside a number of times each evening to check out the moon. The key is to make sure I lock up after him because I'll think the house is locked up for the night and then he'll go outside and leave the door unlocked again. A few weeks ago we were driving by North Hills Church. Easter Seals is located in the back of the church. They often walk around the neighborhood during the day or walk in the sports park that is across the street. So he's familiar with the area. Anyway, one weekend day we drove past the church and John read the sign "North Hills Church". I commented that's where Easter Seals is located. He said "I didn't know that." It reminded me of my mom because she said that so often about things I'd assume she'd know. That happened a lot when she asked where my dad was. I'd say he's in Heaven. She'd say "I didn't know that" in a bland, matter of fact tone. John is spitting a lot in the mornings again. Drives me crazy! So gross. I think he may be losing some of his peripheral vision. I remember that happened with my mom. I've read that the brain is working so hard to focus on what is in front of them that it tunes out things on the periphery. These are all signs that his disease is progressing. He has an appointment with the Neurologist (who he sees every 6 months) in about a week. I'm going to ask if his medication should be increased. They always give him the MMSE test which is a 30 point test of simple questions. It'll be interesting to see how closely his score reflects what I'm observing.