September 5, 2021

My dad died 3 years ago today. I remain convinced that caregiving killed him. He took care of my mom as she declined, at great personal cost to himself. I suppose he wouldn't have had it any other way. However, about a week after his death, we drove my mom to California and placed her in a memory care facility near me. My dad's death was pivotal in my life for many reasons beyond the obvious, but also because it triggered a shit show in my life. I started taking primary care of my mom, and John's decline continued at it's slow pace. By the time my mom died (the 1st anniversary of that is later this month) John's dementia had progressed to the point I could no longer leave him home alone. Plus the pandemic which added to the isolation. Now John's frustration and aggitation rule the day. So the last 3 years haven't been pleasant. But they've flown by in their own twisted way. All that whining stated, I continue to try to chose joy each day. I try to laugh at our crazy. I try to remember that the hard times in life don't last forever. I just need to take it all one step at a time, all the while mumbling bad words under my breath. Or out loud! Now it's time to get back to enjoying this 3 day weekend!